I'd Wanna Be Like ME Too

Well, I haven't blogged in a minute.....idk y but I guess I juz like for everything to build up and then juz tell you about all the GRAYTNESS! Ok soo....recently I said that I had to take a drug test for tha receptionist job at Volvo.....and I PASSED THE TEST!!!!! Do you know how amazing that is?! I was a habitual smoker......I only had stopped smoking for 10 days and my system was clear. Does anyone understand that wut happened NEVER happens? I told many people of my situation, telling them I got the job but I have to take a drug test. EVERYONE said I wasn't gunna pass. PLEASE TELL ME GOD ISN'T A GREAT GOD! So on top of that great news, I was doing some job hunting, nuthin outta tha ordinary and I was walkin back to mah mom's car and saw a Starbucks employee sitting outside for his break. I asked him if he was hiring and he surprisingly said yes. I went to the car and came back with a resume. They didn't have any applications so I asked if I could leave my resume and the guy told me the manager had juz recently stepped outside for his break. So, pretty much the guy outside was tha manager. FAVOR! Ok so I went outside and introduced myself and gave him my resume. Within 2 days I had an interview and the next day Mario, the manager told me to come in for another interview. The first thing he said to me was, "Hello, Jovanna. I'd like to offer you a position." Hahaha I am TOOO blessed. So I went from struggling to try and find a job to getting two within days. But then a dilemma came up. I had 2 jobs that conflicted, which means I had to drop one. The problem wit tha receptionist job is that I would never b able to go to church and Homie don't play that. So, I juz came to the conclusion that even tho the receptionist job is a better sounding and paying job, tha hours weren't enough and can't nobody get in the way of my GOD time. So yeah.....that was some bomb news.....I have some bomber news BUT since it isn't fully complete yet....ur juz gunna have 2 wait 2 find out.....HEHEHE

A.P. tha Great HAHA

While I was fasting I heard GOD's voice a lot and he'd show me a lot of different things. One of them was my friend A.P. Me and him stopped talkin 4 a while cuz some drama that happened within his frat called Block P. But uh yeah so me and him stopped talkin but while I was fasting I felt him heavy on mah spirit. And unintentionally I wore this pair of bball shorts he gave me everyday of mah fast. So at first I ignored the feeling. I juz thought I missed his company or something. But it was greater than that. GOD wanted him in my life and I finally juz accepted that and texted him. He didn't reply. So the next day I texted him again and asked if he was ignoring me n if he was mad at me then we needed to talk about it. He ended up telling me that he was upset with me cuz he thought I was blowing him off. I told him I was fasting and really wasn't holding communication with any1 and that changed everything. Besides mah mom, he's been the most supportive of mah fast and he juz has the energy that I need around right now. He's a great person and I'm very happy and lucky to call him mah friend. Last nite he came over and we juz had a whole buncha fun. We played tha 2009 monopoly and yeah he beat me twice, WUTEVER! 

1st Sunday of the Month

Normally I'm always excited to go to church cuz I don't go as often as I'd like. Last Sunday...MAYNE I wanted to run to church lol. Me and mah sister were ready on time, but mah mom didnt like her hair. Whomp Whomp! So she was like oh nvm we'll juz go 2 tha second service.  I prefer the 1st service cuz everything's fresh, like second service is a copycat of the 1st service lol. So I was a lil upset but at least I was still going. Then like 20 mins after mah mom said nvm she told me 2 get ready, we were juz goin 2 b late. I was a lil irritated cuz I knew we missed praise and worship but I put mah clothes on. So we get to church and Bishop tells the church that there was a member of our church who was in need of $3,000 by monday and if he didn't have it, him and his family would be out on the streets. Bishop said he was juz going to give the man the money out of his pocket, but GOD told him that he wanted his people to do it instead. Right before Bishop told us that, I had written in my prayer request that I wanted to start picking up in mah acting and that doors open up for me. But back to the man in need, mah mom had some of my car money with her, so she gave me 20 and told me to go sew that seed. So as I was walkin up to put mah money on the alter I juz felt GOD's overwhelming presence and I couldn't stop smiling. An older friend of mine who's helped me with my acting, like as far as classes and stuff called me to her while I was walking back to my seat. She asked me if I was in town, lol idk wut made her think I  lived elsewhere, but I told her I was and she said that she needs to get me an agent asap. I told her that I needed to get some head shots and she said she knows of some1 who will give me 5 different poses for $75, now if u don't know, that's AMAZINGLY CHEAP! She then told me that she had an audition for me this week. I wanted to pass out again! When I say I'm blessed u better believe that GOD has favor over my life. I wasn't even going to say anything to Teresa until after church but she pulled me to the side DURING church to tell me this awesome news. I practically skipped back to mah seat and told mah mom and a wide smile spread across her face. I was juz in mah zone, thanking GOD for his goodness. So while every1 is getting settled back in2 their seat, a woman starts yelling. I'm thinking she's juz praising GOD and speaking in tongues, but then my mom told me to pay attention and they handed her a microphone. I didn't understand what she was talkin bout at first cuz a lot of it was in tongues and I kinda wasn't listening but then I heard her say, "I AM GOD ALMIGHTY. I AM THE LORD THAT PROVIDES FOR YOU. WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU MUST OBEY. I WILL BLESS THOSE WHO LISTEN TO ME. GIVE ME PRAISE BECAUSE I AM LORD GOD OF ALL!" That struck me like lightning. GOD was using this lady to speak for him. This lady wasn't juz telling us what she thought she wanted us 2 hear. She had no control over what she was saying. That was GOD speaking to us through her!!! I instantly started crying. I never felt anything so strong before. At that moment is when I knew that mah life had changed for a reason, I don't think I will ever experience anything greater than GOD. After that, we didn't even have a regular church service. There was no sermon, we juz praised him the whole time. His presence was there and the whole church felt it. Service was tooooo great so me and mah mom planned on goin back later that night. That 1st sunday was the last sunday we were holding our prayer requests so I asked every1 I loved and cared for if they wanted to pray for anything. I got a lot of great responses back. Except from 1 person. Mah text said, "2nite mah church is holding a prayer session. Is there anything u'd like us 2 pray for?" Royal replied back, "No but thank you". I felt like some1 juz pimped slapped me. Like I've never really heard anybody deny GOD like he did, I didn't know how to take it. So I told my mom and she was like y r u still talkin 2 that guy? GOD been told me to get him out of my life and I kept ignoring that, but like the lady from church said, YOU MUST OBEY GOD. So, I deleted his number and his sn off mah buddy's list. Oh, btw...if I haven't mentioned which I think I did, I'm off my fast. Mainly because I've adapted to that lifestyle naturally. Like how I lived during my fast is how I wanna live for tha rest of my life. I feel pure now. But uh yeah.....communion was great. GOD is great and so am I ;)

Testimony Time

So like I said earlier, mah fast has been amazing. I haven't had a job since October 2008 and since November 2008 I've been putting in applications and sending in resumes and receiving not one phone call back. So like overall I think I put in about like 2-300 hundred applications in faithfully. So monday comes and I put in an application for a receptions job at Volvo of Santa Monica. I get an email back for an interview. I was so surprised like OMG AN INTERVIEWWW!!!! So I go 2 that 1, it goes great and when I come back home I get another email talkin bout another interview. Everyday of last week I had an interview. EVERYDAY! That right there shows how amazing GOD is, juz a lil faith takes u a long way. So, I prayed about the interviews, maintaining mah faith and I get a call on friday from a lady named Karissa from Volvo. She leaves a message not saying what she was calling for but telling me to call her back. So I did and she told me, "We loved your personality and we'd love to have you in as our new receptionist. Call your mom and tell her tha great news!" Lol I coulda passed out in excitement! All I could say was GOD is Great over and over! So yeah I was super excited, but there was one downfall, I had to get drug tested 4 tha job. B4 mah fast, I was a faithful smoker. I didn't know it took up to 30-90 days for your system to be cleared of THC. Finding that out took the joy away from mah great news. I started looking up detox kits and ppl were giving me all kinds of tips on how to pass the test and I was really contemplating on which method I was going to use. But I recently read that once a person is convicted of the Holy Spirit, sin doesn't feel comfortable. If I were to falsify my test iz juz as bad as me still being a smoker. So I prayed about it. Wutever is according to GOD's Will is definitely going to happen. So I asked GOD to cleanse my system. I said if me keeping this job is according to Your Will, cleanse mah system and purify me so that I may be able to keep the job. After that day I no longer asked Him cuz he already knew wut I needed, but I kept thanking Him for it being done. Man, keeping that faith was sooooo hard for me! Cuz in all reality, if u smoke weed habitually it takes up 2 3 months for ur system to clear, point blank. But GOD is a GOD that works miracles so I juz had 2 believe that that didnt apply to me. And my faith kept getting tested. Ppl kept telling me I was going to fail the test, I kept having doubt in my mind, but I rather believe that GOD will do for me what I asked of Him than believe I wasn't keeping this job I worked hard for. So I took the test yesterday. I still have belief in Him, but one thing I came to conclusion with is, if I don't pass the test it's not because GOD failed me, iz because the job isn't in His Will. But the story would be waaaay better if I did pass the test. Well, mah results come in sometime 2morrow, so we'll c.

U betta ask somebody!

Man o Man o Man o MAN!!! When I say GOD is GREAT.....that is an understatement! If you can't tell by now, mah fast was terrific! I don't even feel like tha same person anymore! But uh alrite lemme give ya tha details. Juz a brief recap of Monday, talked 2 mah guy friend Royal....disastrous.  Pretty much he lost all hope and faith in GOD and I was changing, but like in a bad way. That didn't settle in mah spirit. Then after that, iz mah 1st day of fasting and there's already a blunt in mah face. That was ridiculous but it didn't faze me in tha slightest. Went home, did tha usual (Job Hunt...BLAH!) and then decided to pray. The previous night I asked GOD to filter out the people in mah life who r bringing me down. So, I prayed before I opened the bible and I asked Him to direct me to a scripture that will influence me. I opened up to Psalm 101:1-8. To sum up wut those verses said was, I don't want people in my life who aren't of GOD and who aren't faithful to him. I don't want anything to do with evil and every morning I will get rid of all the sinful people in my life. As soon as I read that scripture, I saw Amara's face in my head VIVIDLY. I read it again and saw her boy friend's face, slightly. Then I read it one more time and saw Royal's face juz as clear as Amara's. I didn't wanna accept that n didnt kno wut 2 do so I called my mom. I read her tha scripture without telling her what I saw and the first thing she said was, "I saw Amara's face". Now if that isn't GOD tryna tell me something I don't kno wut it is. That was really hard 4 me 2 grasp tho, GOD was tellin me to seperate mahself from tha closest person 2 me who isn't blood related. But I had to listen to Him. So, I called Royal and told him bout wut I saw. Of course he didn't agree, but he understand which made me happy. But then I could tell he didn't like the person I was becoming, he didn't like GOD's affect on me. I didn't wanna accept that either cuz I really liked him, but he didn't like GOD and I hated that. So I had to do wut GOD was tellin me and....

B.T.W.

Is any1 reading mah posts? Lol

If not....oh well, iz a great way 4 me 2 vent!

ISOLATION

Some pretty kool things have been happening lately. I wanna discuss them so bad but mah mom told me some news that I had NO idea about. She said that when you fast iz not supposed 2 b broadcasted 4 tha world 2 know. OOPS! She told me a fast is like a secret between you and GOD. Iz to become closer to him so you need to focus more on him and not the world. So, that means when I'm done wit mah fast is when I'ma b baq in action. In tha meanwhile, I'ma jot down everything that happens so I can share my experiences with you all. Appreciate and enjoy your blessings!!!! Until further notice.......

LONG Day

Something that I haven't mentioned, something that most people don't know....I have like reddish orange hair right now wit bangs. Lol iz kinda random but iz kute....i dont feel like mah pix do mah new hair justice I'll give u a look-see. Mmkay so last nite when I was praying I asked GOD to throw temptations at me so I can prove that I'm ready to progress and sure enuff he did. This mornin Amara came to mah room and told me 2 put some clothes on so we could go to the hotel and get some breakfast. So I'm looking at the menu and there's like NOTHING that complies wit mah fast so i juz got a honey moon salad, lettuce alone.....get it? Let Us Alone? Hahahaha. So yeah I get a waq ol' salada n Amara n Chris bust out wit tha gourmet Lobster and Steak dishes, juz had mah mouth super moist lol. And then while we were eating they had Zack and Miri make a Porno on TV, which is like tha worst movie 2 even listen 2 when ur fasting like I am. So yeah having some of their food was tempting but I made it thru. Speaking of tempting, Alex (surrogate mother), is making a bomb steak right now that I can smell all the way up in mah room which is making mah stomach hurt cuz I've barely eaten anything. But yeah. So after we left the hotel wit met up wit an old friend of ours who want 2 talk about party promotions. So stayed tuned 4 further info regarding that. Mmkay so we had the meeting in Amara's car wit a blunt in rotation! Now that was ridiculous. The main thing I've been tryna avoid trapped me in the car. So yeah after that meeting Amara and Chris decide to buy a whole buncha snacks and smoke another blunt! Sad 2 say, I got high off contact, but I didn't smoke at all nor was I tempted. So yeah I stuck 2 mah fast as best as I could. I'm juz hoping these temptations are more avoidable. But I'm feeling good, a lil hungry but wutev. Here's some pix of mah hair

The Sabbath

Sunday, February 23, 2009 12:00 A.M. was the beginning of my fast and to say the least, it was beautiful. I started with prayer, most of it was juz praise. N I really juz broke down wut I wanted from this fast. I want 2 rebuild that relationship wit GOD, I want 2 b able 2 thoroughly hear His voice n feel His presence. I wanna purify mah soul not only so I can become more spiritually strong, but physically strong. I basically juz gave mahself 2 GOD and trust him wholeheartedly that he's gunna make it happen 4 m3. So I told mah mom about it n of course she's supportive, I told Amara n her boyfriend Chris. They're supportive 2. Lol tha 1st thing Amara asked m3 when I said I was fasting was, "Sooo that means no more weed?" Haha I thought was hilarious. I told Alex, my sarrogant mother, she supported m3 2. But the 1 response from the 1 person I didn't expect was from this guy I'm seriously talkin 2 named Royal. He didn't really understand the extremes n the strictness of mah fast which really upset m3. Last nite in mah prayer I expressed 2 GOD that I wasn't sure if he was for m3 and I asked 4 another sign n his reaction was enuff 4 m3 2 bounce. But once I communicated that he tried 2 become understanding. But I'm still unbalanced when it comes 2 him. Idk if iz juz cuz I'm like that wit every dude or if iz cuz GOD's callin out 2 m3. Whatever it is tho I need some answers, whether it be from you guys or from Him. But yeah I'm writing this in tha car, juz left the Beverly Hills Hotel n saw Hilary Duff n some BOMB ass-prin shoes lol. Iz still kinda early so lets see how this day plays out

Fasting for My FUTURE

Today was a VERY irritating day. Although I feel 2day was quite productive, it was waaaay 2 boring and upsetting. I haven't had a job since October n being that I'm 18 n dont live wit mah mom anymore, that sux! I need a job baaaaad n it juz so happens that no one is hiring in the state of California....or so it feels like. So I mean it gets oober stressful, job hunting everyday and finding no results. Then on top of that I have no car, mah mom has money saved for me so I can get one, but our agreement was that I cant get one til I get a job. WHOMP WHOMP! So yeah today I basically been at home all day wit Amara's boyfriend....which is weird. Then Amara gets home all krump like, "So I might go to Elton John's Oscar After party wit mah mom...blah blah blah". The whole time I'm waiting for 2 b like alright so get ready.....doesn't happen. Idk y I'm surprised cuz when it comes 2 stuff like that she 4gets mah existence but I was juz hot cuz I knew 4 a fact I woulda considered inviting her. So yeah all that 2gether juz really messed up mah mood. And then mah mom called. She could tell something was wrong cuz she heard it in mah voice. I told her y I was irritated and she came up wit an analysis. She's said I've lost focus with GOD. Which is EXTREMELY true. She said whenever it seems like nothing is going your way it's because you've derailed yourself from tha path GOD has lead for you. She couldn't be anymore right. Every week and nearly everyday I've been smoking weed and cigarette's, having alcohol whenever iz offered, eating horribly, not giving any attention to GOD in anyway. I always try 2 defend weed and say iz not really a sin cuz iz a plant but when it comes down 2 it, weed alters your thinking, it gets in the way of hearing HIS voice. N thaz tha voice I miss tha most. The only way for me to become prosperous in anyway is to just give up on all temptations.  So as of February 23, 2009 12:00 A.M., I am fasting for however long The Spirit tells me to. I'm disconnecting mahself from the world and devoting mahself to GOD. Which means:

• No AIM
• No Myspace
• No Facebook
• No Texting (unless iz important)
• Minimal phone calls
• No TV
• No Drugs, ugghh it sickens me 4 even having 2 say that
• No Music unless iz inspirational or Gospel
• Only fruit, vegetables, crackers, and water til 6:00 P.M. n I can only eat wutever up until 7

I've NEVER done a fast anything near this. But I'm ready and willing. The only way for me to receive mah blessings is if i rebuild a relationship with mah FATHER. Any support, advice, comments would be very appreciated. And if u feel anything like me 2, maybe a fast is a good idea for you. Welp, I'm out....bout 2 go get mah TV in b4 12 lol

Oscar Weekend

So, yesterday one of mah inspirations was in town for the Oscars. We went 2 her hotel room @ The Beverly Hills hotel to say hi. First thing she said 2 Amara, mah bestfriend/sister, was "Look at you're hair! I love it!" Then she looked at me n said tha same thing. Lol that made me feel all warm inside. So yeah we kicked it wit her for a min n then she juz deeped on us n left us in her room bored outta our minds! Lol but there was an upside, juz chattin wit her, catchin up n ish...juz bein in her presence was GRAYTNESS!!!! I'm honored to call her fam, tho u couldn't prove that thru blood.....

Sisterhood of tha Traveling Shoes

The one person I love most in this world is mah lil sister Janee. She's 12, in tha 6th Grade, goes 2 Crossroads n is tha only person I'd never think twice about givin mah life 4....Man when I say this lil girl is DOPE AF....I aint playin. 

Gettin Ink'd Up

Lol mah lil sister Jerz had a crackin ass 13th lol.....she had a lady come thru n hooked everybody up wit some airbrush tattoo's lol

My Genius Photographer: ASHA

Day 1

So, I've been thinkin bout this day for some time....I remember I made some lil bull crap blog when I was a freshman in hs...but I don't consider that real lol. So, yeah this is mah 1st OFFICIAL blog. N i'm happy, Whoop Whoop! So pretty much, this is mah online diary. Wutever I go thru ur gunna kno. Well besides those lil insignificant moments. But mah life does get a lil crazy so maybe you won't kno EVERYTHING but believe u me, i see you see......I'ma keep it real. So with no further adieu.....WELCOME!