B.T.W.

Is any1 reading mah posts? Lol

If not....oh well, iz a great way 4 me 2 vent!

ISOLATION

Some pretty kool things have been happening lately. I wanna discuss them so bad but mah mom told me some news that I had NO idea about. She said that when you fast iz not supposed 2 b broadcasted 4 tha world 2 know. OOPS! She told me a fast is like a secret between you and GOD. Iz to become closer to him so you need to focus more on him and not the world. So, that means when I'm done wit mah fast is when I'ma b baq in action. In tha meanwhile, I'ma jot down everything that happens so I can share my experiences with you all. Appreciate and enjoy your blessings!!!! Until further notice.......

LONG Day

Something that I haven't mentioned, something that most people don't know....I have like reddish orange hair right now wit bangs. Lol iz kinda random but iz kute....i dont feel like mah pix do mah new hair justice I'll give u a look-see. Mmkay so last nite when I was praying I asked GOD to throw temptations at me so I can prove that I'm ready to progress and sure enuff he did. This mornin Amara came to mah room and told me 2 put some clothes on so we could go to the hotel and get some breakfast. So I'm looking at the menu and there's like NOTHING that complies wit mah fast so i juz got a honey moon salad, lettuce alone.....get it? Let Us Alone? Hahahaha. So yeah I get a waq ol' salada n Amara n Chris bust out wit tha gourmet Lobster and Steak dishes, juz had mah mouth super moist lol. And then while we were eating they had Zack and Miri make a Porno on TV, which is like tha worst movie 2 even listen 2 when ur fasting like I am. So yeah having some of their food was tempting but I made it thru. Speaking of tempting, Alex (surrogate mother), is making a bomb steak right now that I can smell all the way up in mah room which is making mah stomach hurt cuz I've barely eaten anything. But yeah. So after we left the hotel wit met up wit an old friend of ours who want 2 talk about party promotions. So stayed tuned 4 further info regarding that. Mmkay so we had the meeting in Amara's car wit a blunt in rotation! Now that was ridiculous. The main thing I've been tryna avoid trapped me in the car. So yeah after that meeting Amara and Chris decide to buy a whole buncha snacks and smoke another blunt! Sad 2 say, I got high off contact, but I didn't smoke at all nor was I tempted. So yeah I stuck 2 mah fast as best as I could. I'm juz hoping these temptations are more avoidable. But I'm feeling good, a lil hungry but wutev. Here's some pix of mah hair

The Sabbath

Sunday, February 23, 2009 12:00 A.M. was the beginning of my fast and to say the least, it was beautiful. I started with prayer, most of it was juz praise. N I really juz broke down wut I wanted from this fast. I want 2 rebuild that relationship wit GOD, I want 2 b able 2 thoroughly hear His voice n feel His presence. I wanna purify mah soul not only so I can become more spiritually strong, but physically strong. I basically juz gave mahself 2 GOD and trust him wholeheartedly that he's gunna make it happen 4 m3. So I told mah mom about it n of course she's supportive, I told Amara n her boyfriend Chris. They're supportive 2. Lol tha 1st thing Amara asked m3 when I said I was fasting was, "Sooo that means no more weed?" Haha I thought was hilarious. I told Alex, my sarrogant mother, she supported m3 2. But the 1 response from the 1 person I didn't expect was from this guy I'm seriously talkin 2 named Royal. He didn't really understand the extremes n the strictness of mah fast which really upset m3. Last nite in mah prayer I expressed 2 GOD that I wasn't sure if he was for m3 and I asked 4 another sign n his reaction was enuff 4 m3 2 bounce. But once I communicated that he tried 2 become understanding. But I'm still unbalanced when it comes 2 him. Idk if iz juz cuz I'm like that wit every dude or if iz cuz GOD's callin out 2 m3. Whatever it is tho I need some answers, whether it be from you guys or from Him. But yeah I'm writing this in tha car, juz left the Beverly Hills Hotel n saw Hilary Duff n some BOMB ass-prin shoes lol. Iz still kinda early so lets see how this day plays out

Fasting for My FUTURE

Today was a VERY irritating day. Although I feel 2day was quite productive, it was waaaay 2 boring and upsetting. I haven't had a job since October n being that I'm 18 n dont live wit mah mom anymore, that sux! I need a job baaaaad n it juz so happens that no one is hiring in the state of California....or so it feels like. So I mean it gets oober stressful, job hunting everyday and finding no results. Then on top of that I have no car, mah mom has money saved for me so I can get one, but our agreement was that I cant get one til I get a job. WHOMP WHOMP! So yeah today I basically been at home all day wit Amara's boyfriend....which is weird. Then Amara gets home all krump like, "So I might go to Elton John's Oscar After party wit mah mom...blah blah blah". The whole time I'm waiting for 2 b like alright so get ready.....doesn't happen. Idk y I'm surprised cuz when it comes 2 stuff like that she 4gets mah existence but I was juz hot cuz I knew 4 a fact I woulda considered inviting her. So yeah all that 2gether juz really messed up mah mood. And then mah mom called. She could tell something was wrong cuz she heard it in mah voice. I told her y I was irritated and she came up wit an analysis. She's said I've lost focus with GOD. Which is EXTREMELY true. She said whenever it seems like nothing is going your way it's because you've derailed yourself from tha path GOD has lead for you. She couldn't be anymore right. Every week and nearly everyday I've been smoking weed and cigarette's, having alcohol whenever iz offered, eating horribly, not giving any attention to GOD in anyway. I always try 2 defend weed and say iz not really a sin cuz iz a plant but when it comes down 2 it, weed alters your thinking, it gets in the way of hearing HIS voice. N thaz tha voice I miss tha most. The only way for me to become prosperous in anyway is to just give up on all temptations.  So as of February 23, 2009 12:00 A.M., I am fasting for however long The Spirit tells me to. I'm disconnecting mahself from the world and devoting mahself to GOD. Which means:

• No AIM
• No Myspace
• No Facebook
• No Texting (unless iz important)
• Minimal phone calls
• No TV
• No Drugs, ugghh it sickens me 4 even having 2 say that
• No Music unless iz inspirational or Gospel
• Only fruit, vegetables, crackers, and water til 6:00 P.M. n I can only eat wutever up until 7

I've NEVER done a fast anything near this. But I'm ready and willing. The only way for me to receive mah blessings is if i rebuild a relationship with mah FATHER. Any support, advice, comments would be very appreciated. And if u feel anything like me 2, maybe a fast is a good idea for you. Welp, I'm out....bout 2 go get mah TV in b4 12 lol

Oscar Weekend

So, yesterday one of mah inspirations was in town for the Oscars. We went 2 her hotel room @ The Beverly Hills hotel to say hi. First thing she said 2 Amara, mah bestfriend/sister, was "Look at you're hair! I love it!" Then she looked at me n said tha same thing. Lol that made me feel all warm inside. So yeah we kicked it wit her for a min n then she juz deeped on us n left us in her room bored outta our minds! Lol but there was an upside, juz chattin wit her, catchin up n ish...juz bein in her presence was GRAYTNESS!!!! I'm honored to call her fam, tho u couldn't prove that thru blood.....

Sisterhood of tha Traveling Shoes

The one person I love most in this world is mah lil sister Janee. She's 12, in tha 6th Grade, goes 2 Crossroads n is tha only person I'd never think twice about givin mah life 4....Man when I say this lil girl is DOPE AF....I aint playin. 

Gettin Ink'd Up

Lol mah lil sister Jerz had a crackin ass 13th lol.....she had a lady come thru n hooked everybody up wit some airbrush tattoo's lol

My Genius Photographer: ASHA

Day 1

So, I've been thinkin bout this day for some time....I remember I made some lil bull crap blog when I was a freshman in hs...but I don't consider that real lol. So, yeah this is mah 1st OFFICIAL blog. N i'm happy, Whoop Whoop! So pretty much, this is mah online diary. Wutever I go thru ur gunna kno. Well besides those lil insignificant moments. But mah life does get a lil crazy so maybe you won't kno EVERYTHING but believe u me, i see you see......I'ma keep it real. So with no further adieu.....WELCOME!