Fasting for My FUTURE

Today was a VERY irritating day. Although I feel 2day was quite productive, it was waaaay 2 boring and upsetting. I haven't had a job since October n being that I'm 18 n dont live wit mah mom anymore, that sux! I need a job baaaaad n it juz so happens that no one is hiring in the state of California....or so it feels like. So I mean it gets oober stressful, job hunting everyday and finding no results. Then on top of that I have no car, mah mom has money saved for me so I can get one, but our agreement was that I cant get one til I get a job. WHOMP WHOMP! So yeah today I basically been at home all day wit Amara's boyfriend....which is weird. Then Amara gets home all krump like, "So I might go to Elton John's Oscar After party wit mah mom...blah blah blah". The whole time I'm waiting for 2 b like alright so get ready.....doesn't happen. Idk y I'm surprised cuz when it comes 2 stuff like that she 4gets mah existence but I was juz hot cuz I knew 4 a fact I woulda considered inviting her. So yeah all that 2gether juz really messed up mah mood. And then mah mom called. She could tell something was wrong cuz she heard it in mah voice. I told her y I was irritated and she came up wit an analysis. She's said I've lost focus with GOD. Which is EXTREMELY true. She said whenever it seems like nothing is going your way it's because you've derailed yourself from tha path GOD has lead for you. She couldn't be anymore right. Every week and nearly everyday I've been smoking weed and cigarette's, having alcohol whenever iz offered, eating horribly, not giving any attention to GOD in anyway. I always try 2 defend weed and say iz not really a sin cuz iz a plant but when it comes down 2 it, weed alters your thinking, it gets in the way of hearing HIS voice. N thaz tha voice I miss tha most. The only way for me to become prosperous in anyway is to just give up on all temptations.  So as of February 23, 2009 12:00 A.M., I am fasting for however long The Spirit tells me to. I'm disconnecting mahself from the world and devoting mahself to GOD. Which means:

• No AIM
• No Myspace
• No Facebook
• No Texting (unless iz important)
• Minimal phone calls
• No TV
• No Drugs, ugghh it sickens me 4 even having 2 say that
• No Music unless iz inspirational or Gospel
• Only fruit, vegetables, crackers, and water til 6:00 P.M. n I can only eat wutever up until 7

I've NEVER done a fast anything near this. But I'm ready and willing. The only way for me to receive mah blessings is if i rebuild a relationship with mah FATHER. Any support, advice, comments would be very appreciated. And if u feel anything like me 2, maybe a fast is a good idea for you. Welp, I'm out....bout 2 go get mah TV in b4 12 lol